cheer's poses...

waited for so long, finally got cheer chen's dvd+cd package... finally they have asian edition and i can get it in macau... haha, so touching while i watch it... reminds me of the last time where i stood for 2 whole hours at her concert 2 years ago in macau... it is really so moving...

and i finally got broadband... one less reason to miss beijing... haha, but im not sure if i can bt all the time... let's see...

give me a break...

back to macau for a while... so far it has been the normal home life... as in its really humid and hot, with a lot of time walking on the streets going nowhere... and then parents are as usual whining and whining about everything i do or not do... after 6 years of solitude, i guess i couldnt handle it... i want a break...

thanks to my friends for giving me great support... it is with u guys that i get my occasional break from the whining and i am so happy to be with all of u again... though i lost contact with a lot of high school friends along the way, and i dont really have that many people to meet when i am back here, it still feels so nice i still got the 2 or 3 of u to hang out with...

i am so devastated... i guess i have taken everything for granted... all along i thought i have been great, i thought i have given in so much... but in the end i guess i didn't do such a great job... i don't know what to do these few days... i can't talk to my friends and i have my parents behind me all the time and i don't even have a time to be sad... i want to be strong and be happy and smily when i see anyone but i can't... why did it happen so suddenly... if only i could turn back time...

i want this cake...

aside from packing and doing math problems, i have been going out quite a bit these few days... wandered into bread talk the other day and saw that they have hello kitty products now... i want this hello kitty cake for my birthday ah... why don't they have hello kitty cakes and bread in macau?








and as i was packing, i found that i have never took a picture with my elmo backpack... hehe... so i took one before i put in in the post carton and mail it back home...

i want this cake...

aside from packing and doing math problems, i have been going out quite a bit these few days... wandered into bread talk the other day and saw that they have hello kitty products now... i want this hello kitty cake for my birthday ah... why don't they have hello kitty cakes and bread in macau?








and as i was packing, i found that i have never took a picture with my elmo backpack... hehe... so i took one before i put in in the post carton and mail it back home...

Peace

Six years ago, I made a very determined decision to leave my home and come to Beijing. Six years passed, and I made a much more determined decision to leave Beijing and go back home. To all those who think it is a wrong thing to do, I appreciate all your suggestions. To all who think I am a loser, I understand where you are coming from. To all who understood me and supported me, I appreciate all you support and I am really thankful.

I just want to say it has been a very rough time. It is not something that got out of my panic attack. It is something that I have thought about in the past few years, but have not the courage and determination to face. And now I finally have prepared myself to go on and bring it up. It is a heart-breaking moment for all those who have expectations of me, especially my parents and myself. The strength I have to gather in order to stay calm enough to talk to my family and explain to them and make them understand is tremendous. It is not easy. But I know inside me that it is the right thing to do. So let me make peace with myself.

Maybe one day, I may be proved wrong. Maybe someday, what you all think is going to come true. I might be better off if I haven't decided to do what I do now. But at least I will not regret when I look back at what I did. I have already made the best decision my little brain can afford. And that is what makes this my life -- the choices that I make. And I am not living the life my parents or my relatives expect of me. It is a life entirely mine.

To those that really mattered to me, I understand your concerns. I know it looked all wrong from your points of view. I know you all think I am too emotional and I am weak. But I am the strongest I have been in years. All the strength and courage I used to tell my parents and to face the world. I am even prepared to deal with the "see-what-i've-told-you" things you are going to say if you are proved right. So let me do this and support me. I have never felt "right-er" in my life. It is decided upon, no way back. As I said, now I am really at peace with myself. So let it be what it is meant to be. Thank you...

God bless me...

zub...

saw this note at lush the other night... says "zub" is closing down... only been to that place once and that was really a long time ago but i still remember a lot from that one time... the picture is unusually clear to me... feels a little sad about this little place (so weird cuz i dont even remember this place before i saw this)...

air-con turned fridge...

at around nine something tonight, i came back from lawrence's room to find a loud roaring noise inside my own room... i opened the door and i heard the noise coming from the air-con... so i opened the air-lid and this is what i found... my air-con turned into a fridge... there's ice all over the dust filter and the when i pulled one filter out of its slot, everything underneath is covered with ice too... seems like my air-con likes to be a fridge freezer more than an air-con tonight...


above is a close-up of the ice... and below is me with the frosted dust filter...


and now even though the ice melted and i replaced everything, the air-con wont work... i need to sleep without it... and then i can't straighten my legs on my bed because water is dripping from it at one end of my bed... i put buckets and towels there so the water won't go anywhere else... hm... hellish ordeal...

and thanks to lawrence for not panicking and helping deal with the whole thing... my bed will be swamped if not for u.... thanks...